5 Tips to Find a Mentor

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Angela D. Coleman

Angela, Founder & President of Sisterhood Agenda, is an award-winning global leader, holistic health specialist, and author.

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These tips to find a mentor would have been very helpful to me when I was younger and earlier in my chosen career.  Yes, we are the best:  fly, successful, and awesome. But,  sometimes we could use some guidance.  And, it’s amazing to recognize your need for mentoring.

The need for mentoring does not stop as you age and grow.  We all benefit from mentoring and being mentored.  I am happy to use these “how to find a mentor” tips for myself and share them with you.

Think of a mentor as growth fertilizer for your personal growth and career. It can accelerate what is already growing and, if you’re stagnant, mentoring can get you out of a rut.

Have you been trying to find a mentor?  Are you ready for a positive growth relationship?

My mentoring journey

When I was younger, I would identify successful women that I wanted to be like.  They were my role models and big sisters for me.  I would learn from them -a lot.

Sometimes, this was a formal relationship, like the business owner who first gave me my first real job out of college.  Yet the vast majority of the time, my most memorable mentoring relationships have been informal.

Like many people, my first role models were my parents.  My father is hardworking, academically accomplished, strategically brilliant, and straight-forward.  My mother is hardworking, socially savvy, really smart, and intuitive.  Each of my parents shared their unique gifts with me.  Today, I am a better person because of it.

As my career with Sisterhood Agenda developed, I have had many mentors.  I am still learning from them because my self-development journey is never complete.  Over the years, I recognized the importance of having a positive and strong mentoring relationship. And now, I can share that experience with others as a mentor.

We can all benefit from being mentored, at all ages and stages of our lives.

Find your mentor now!

Sisterhood Agenda now offers mentoring services and you are encouraged to do what is best for you in terms of next steps. Using these tips, I am sure that you will find the best mentor most suited to who you are and where you want to be:

1. Be clear about what you are looking for in a mentor.

Identify the qualities that you would like to have in a mentor.  Like any fruitful relationship, it is best to know what you like and what you do not like, along with a great degree of self-awareness.

2. Do not confuse a mentor with a therapist.

While a mentor can also be a counselor, do not expect your mentor to be a mental health professional unless that is her actual job.  Mentors provide opportunities for growth and development.  If your mental health is not okay, make this the priority so that you be in a better state of mind for mentoring.

3. Relax.

Be proactive in finding a mentor, but be sure to chill and relax when you reach out and don’t get the affirmation that you are looking for.  You don’t have to stalk anyone to convince them to help you.

If you do not receive a reply or if you receive a negative response, it usually means that this individual is not the mentor for you.  Continue to do your due diligence and inevitably, your best mentor will reveal herself to you, sometimes where you least expect it.

READ THIS:  HOW TO BE A SISTER

4. Look for experience that matters.

It goes without saying that you want a mentor who is successful, yet you should also look for a mentor who has a lot of experience, specifically wisdom that has been gained from that experience in an area of life that is important to you.  A mentor fortified by wisdom and experience is a true gift.

5. Keep an open mind.

Open-mindedness is essential for the mentor, the one who is providing guidance through mentoring and the mentee, the one who is receiving guidance through mentoring.  There may be a lot of things that you just might not “get” about each other.  That’s okay.

What is most important is the willingness to listen and learn in the spirit of sisterhood, mutual respect, and admiration.

Bonus tip:

Successful women are busy!  A great mentor is likely someone who does not sit around with a lot of time on her hands.  In fact, for mentors like myself, time is one of our most precious commodities.

However, remember that you have something to offer, too.  We learn from you just as much as you learn from us.  Great mentors are often attracted to individuals who do for themselves, have a clear purpose, and are intentional in their actions.  By living a productive life, you will attract others who want to help you succeed.

Photo credit:  Jacob Lund/Fotolia

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