Angela D. Coleman, Ìbíyínká Oladojá Oyèwọlá, is a nonprofit executive, social entrepreneur, and scholar-practitioner dedicated to transforming communities through innovation, systems-level thinking, and equity-centered solutions.
Do you know how to say NO? Two little letters… but it’s so difficult for many to say.
Why is it so hard to say “no”?
Some women and girls need help in learning how to say no because too often, we are taught the opposite. Girls are often socialized to say yes, even when they should say no. We are taught to consider what other people want and need above our own wants and needs.
Girls are encouraged and rewarded for being “nice” and “good.” Being nice and good often means being compliant, and doing what people want them to do without questioning the request.
It means doing the most to please others. People-pleasers rarely reject someone’s request, no matter how silly or inconsiderate it might be. Additionally, fear of being perceived as rude or unlikeable can also contribute to the hesitation in saying no. As a result, they don’t know how to say NO and they rarely do.
Does this sound like you? Then, read on!
Photo credit: Jazmin Quaynor, Unsplash
You can evolve from a socialized people-pleaser to an empowered woman who chooses what she wants to do, not from a socialized sense of obligation or duty, but from genuine desire. Sometimes to do this, we have to say NO.
Let’s start acting in our own best interest by learning how to say NO.
Practice saying no to everything, even small requests, that you don’t feel like doing.
Set boundaries to know what you will or won’t do.
Communicate your boundaries to everyone around you so that they know and understand.
Enforce your boundaries by being consistent so that people will know that you are serious.
Prioritize your own well-being by being honest about what you truly want and need.
Practice asserting yourself with confidence by standing firm in your power.
Focus on the present with mindfulness, a valuable skill for clarity and calm.
Look forward and envision a future lifestyle based on who you are becoming.
Release doubt and guilt about saying no .
Cultivate courage and confidence every day by knowing your worth
It can be challenging for women to say no due to societal expectations and pressures that have been ingrained over time. Women are often taught to prioritize the needs and feelings of others above their own, leading to difficulty in asserting their own boundaries.
We can take comfort in the knowledge that we can always say no.
Which way of this How to Say NO article is your favorite? Share with us below.
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