Is It a Male Loneliness Epidemic or Are Women Just Tired?

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Sister Star

I like to write about timely topics that empower women and girls, and help us feel great.

Latest posts by Sister Star (see all)

• I’m Sorry That Happened To You - March 6, 2026
• Is It a Male Loneliness Epidemic or Are Women Just Tired? - January 23, 2026
• Parasocial Relationships - December 23, 2025

Male loneliness is a topic worth exploring.  Of course, I feel bad about anyone who feels lonely.  There are so many people in the world.

No one who doesn’t want to be alone should be alone.

Heterosexual relationships and male loneliness

Many women want to have good relationships with men. That is why, when it comes to this “male loneliness epidemic,” I am not sure I totally buy it. Is it really a male loneliness epidemic?

I have been told that many women just grew tired of not getting what they truly want and need.  If men are unwilling or unable to give women what they want and need, women have the option to leave these men alone. And they do. I guess, in theory, if many men are left alone, that could cause a male loneliness epidemic.

Maybe there are certain kinds of men that modern women simply decided they no longer want or need.

Healthy relationships

Relationships are not easy for anyone. And for a while now, I have a hard time identifying a couple that models what I believe a healthy relationship looks like. Growing up, I did not see it very often, and I see it less often now. But one thing remains constant: you will know if someone wants you and if they don’t.

If you are a man, and a woman doesn’t want you, usually that means she finds you substandard or even deficient in some way.  The same is true with women and men who don’t want them. You can’t be upset. Some people are just not meant to be together.

Everyone has to have standards. Every woman absolutely must have standards in their interpersonal relationships. Healthy relationships have trust and communication, and add value to your life. Lonely people who desire companionship often must look inward.

Lonely men can ask themselves what they can do to make themselves more desireable to women. What is their learning curve for adding value; in other words, how long is it going to take for them to figure this out?

Want versus need

Women are outpacing men in education, sometimes in gainful employment, and in other ways, too, such as emotional intelligence. Socially, women are more likely to have social support and utilize professional mental health resources such as therapy.

What helps make a community thrive? As women gain independence, their dependence on others, including men, significantly decreases. Do women need men? In both simple and complex ways, we are all interdependent on each other.

With modern romantic relationships, it’s not so much about “need.” It’s more about “want.”

With all of the love and desire, though, expecting a woman to elevate a man is expecting a lot. If a step-up is required, most women want a man to do it himself. If the step-up is too high? A man can either learn to jump or retreat and complain about being lonely.

The Basic 3

Most relationship compatibility is based on the basic 3:

• Sex
• Money
• Children

Maybe that is outdated and simplistic.  Related to the basic 3, some of the dealbreakers that I’ve heard women say that they are sick and tired of include:

• Men who act like children.
• Men who expect the women they are with to mother them.
• Men who are the product of smothering.
• Men who are not self-sufficient and lack life skills, such as cooking and housework.
• Men with outdated notions of gender roles and responsibilities, such as housework and childcare.
• Men who lack ambition and/or the capacity to take care of themselves and others.
• Men who are preoccupied with high-stimulation digital, behavioral, and technology-based activities, such as gaming, pornography, and social media.

Can men change?

Of course, not all men feel the same about change. However, according to Dr. Thomas Jeffreys, a psychologist who often counsels men who feel this way:

• Men often understand what needs to change.  But that doesn’t mean they know what to do about it.
• Men often feel afraid, guilty, or ashamed about their shortcomings.  This doesn’t mean they lack insight or intelligence about them.

According to Dr. Jeffreys:

“Change becomes possible when men examine the beliefs that quietly hold them in place.”

If men go too long without help and resolution, they can become resentful, hardened, and bitter.  In other words, they become even less likable and lonelier. Of course, this doesn’t help; it only hurts the situation.

Is this what’s happening now?