Carline is an advocate for women's empowerment and environmental issues, such as plastic pollution and its effects. She is a passionate writer who wants to make a difference.
When fighting against violence, you, dear sister, need to know what to do.
At Sisterhood Agenda, our Global Sisterhood Directory is full of women’s organizations that identify issues of importance and share critical resources to address violence against women and children.
If you are one of the women who are experiencing abuse, what’s the first thing that you should do?
Overcome denial.
When it comes to fighting against violence, most women who experience abuse are in denial. They can’t believe that this is really happening to them and question how they allowed it to happen. In some instances, women who experience abuse have an altered view of reality and too often blame themselves.
Whether or not you’re still in denial or you’re not yet ready to leave your abuser, there are steps you can take to protect yourself.
Watch out for red flags.
If you see signs your abuser is about to rage in anger, find a way to stay away from them right away. When fighting against violence, what you sense is very important. If you sense that something bad is about to happen, listen to your intuition and come up with an excuse to get out of the house.
Identify safe areas in your house.
Run over to a safe spot when your abuser starts a fight. Avoid enclosed spaces without easy exits (closets, corners, bathrooms) or the kitchen.
If it’s possible, hide all weapons (knives, hammers, etc.) If you can, go to a room with an outside door or window where your neighbors can see what’s going on.
Ask for help from your neighbors and come up with a code.
Confide in others who care. Tell them that you are fighting against violence in your life. Talk to your neighbors, friends, family, and co-workers, and come up with a code word that you can text to them. Make them aware if you’re in danger and when you need their help in calling the police.
Plan for your escape.
Keep your car fueled up in advance facing the exit with ONLY the driver’s door unlocked. Keep a spare key in your pocket and put cash and clothing in the car.
In addition, write the phone numbers of your family or trusted individuals on a piece of paper and place it in your car or in your pocket together with the car keys.
Plan your first stop. It could be the police station or a safe haven.
Ask your trusted friends or family if you can contact them when you need a ride or a place to stay.
Look for local shelters and memorize your local domestic violence hotline.
If you still haven’t gathered up the courage to leave or if you think your abuser will still change, be kind to yourself, in the meantime. Focus on what you need and what brings you joy until you can move forward.
Train yourself to think positively despite the situation.
Use affirmations and counter the negative remarks you get from your abuser.
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