Angela D. Coleman, Ìbíyínká Oladojá Oyèwọlá, is a nonprofit executive, social entrepreneur, and scholar-practitioner dedicated to transforming communities through innovation, systems-level thinking, and equity-centered solutions.
Healing after a negative relationship is possible, even if it doesn’t feel like it right away.
Breakups are never easy, and breaking up from a negative relationship may leave you feeling hurt, broken, or completely lost.
While there is no fixed strategy to recover after a toxic relationship, there are some things you can do to feel better and heal yourself mentally and emotionally over time.
The most important thing you can do is to allow yourself to grieve, and accept your true feelings. The relationship may have turned bad, but it’s okay to grieve the loss of someone you loved and cherished before things went south! Give yourself time to get over this loss and don’t force yourself to move on.
Talk to the people who love you, and don’t hesitate to seek emotional support from your close friends. While you may find it hard to trust people after a bad relationship, confiding in a good friend can clear out a lot of negative thoughts.
Make yourself a priority. After a tough breakup, you need to take care of yourself and make time for the things you love. This may be as simple as taking a nice bubble bath while sipping on a glass of wine, taking long walks on the beach, or cooking your favorite meal.
Go out with your friends for a night out and have fun! Dance your heart out or watch a movie, and try not to think about the trauma you’ve gone through.
Never blame yourself for what happened! After an unhealthy relationship, many people seem to think it was their doing but it rarely is. If someone treated you badly, it’s their fault, not yours. Be gentle and kind with yourself.
Leaving a toxic, negative relationship can be hard, but if you forgive yourself and learn from the experience, there’s no reason why you can’t heal and move on.
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