Sisterhood Agenda

Do’s and Don’ts For Love During Coronavirus and Beyond

Angela D. Coleman
Latest posts by Angela D. Coleman (see all)

If you did not know, there are do’s and don’ts for love during coronavirus and this information will help you beyond this unusual pandemic situation.

Entering and maintaining a healthy love relationship can be difficult enough without a pandemic like coronavirus.  With it, we are quarantining ourselves and sheltering in place, often with our girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives, significant others, and those who don’t have relationship titles.  We are spending A LOT of time with them, unexpectantly.

With patience and love, all things are possible.

These tips are helpful in understanding what to do and what not to do in “love during coronavirus” situations:

The do’s for love during coronavirus

  1. Communicate your feelings.  The best way for someone to know how you feel is to tell them directly.  Listen to how other people feel, in kind.
  2. Maintain your values.  Values are principles that don’t change over time.  Even in emergency situations, you can strive to do consistently do what ‘s right.
  3. Be honest.  Honesty builds strong relationships and it is a sign of healthy communication.
  4. Manage your relationship.  Do what you like to get what you want and if something is not working, you have the power to fix it.
  5. Give each other space and time apart.  Use any and all rooms in the home, including the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, balcony, or basement to find quiet time for yourself when you need it.  Ask not to be disturbed during this time.
  6. Know that true love is not joyous 24/7.  The highs and lows of love are real and are a part of any long-term relationship.  How you get through them is indicative of the resilience of your bond, maturity, and mutual respect.
  7. Understand the underlying anxiety that coronavirus creates.  During a public health crisis, we are all under more pressure than usual.  Give yourself and the people around you love and understanding when they act in ways that are a little different.
  8. Keep date nights at home.  Date nights are healthy for maintaining positive energy in your relationship and you can still schedule a time and place for a special get-together.
  9. Create and maintain your personal and relationship boundaries.  Your boundaries are yours and if they are violated, it should be discussed, with consequences for repeated violations.  Like your values, staying together during this time should not change your boundaries.
  10. Seek professional help when you need it.  Therapy is great for individuals and for couples, especially during temporary rough times.  When you have issues that are difficult to resolve, an objective third party might be very helpful.
  11. Maintain hygiene.  Good hygiene helps you and your partner stay healthy and feel better.
  12. Respect what makes each other feel safe and unsafe.  Your partner’s idea of safety may be different than your own. Some people may be triggered by the pandemic.  Be empathetic and understand that safety is a personal experience that often involves past experiences.
  13. Feel your feelings when you feel them.  When you are frustrated, sad, angry, happy, or joyful, it’s okay to feel any of these feelings fully and other feelings, too.  When you feel them, they can pass through, in and out, without lingering and causing additional distress.
  14. It’s okay to grieve the past and what used to be.  There are plenty of things that we might be missing right now; events that we can’t go to, activities that we can no longer participate in, such as concerts, movies, shows, and restaurants.  It’s okay to miss these aspects of our past.

Those are the do’s of the do’s and don’ts for love during coronavirus.  Here are the don’ts:

The don’ts for love during coronavirus

  1. Avoid making big decisions that have long-lasting consequences during this time.  Now is not the time to act on a momentary feeling, especially a really intense one that can seem right, but may be totally wrong.  Pause, take a moment, and discuss your issue with your partner when both of you are in a better mental space.
  2. Decrease risky behaviors that put your partner at risk.  Don’t ignore public health guidelines to keep doing things that you used to do, but are now categorized as high-risk behaviors.  Adapt to keep both you and your partner safe and healthy.
  3. Don’t take your stress out on those around you.  It’s not your partner’s fault that the coronavirus pandemic occurred or that you are having trouble adapting to this new reality.  Take responsibility for your own behavior and make sure that you show love to those you claim to love.  Try to manage your stress with exercise, meditation, and talking with your friends and family.
  4. Don’t put others at risk by behaving selfishly.  Same as #2.  Even if we are willing to take the risk, it is unfair to make our partners take risks that they may be less comfortable with.
  5. Don’t fight the fact that this relationship may not be what you want and need at this time.  Some relationships are there for a season or until we get the lesson that we are supposed to get from them.  The timing is not great, but it’s better to know now if this person is not for you than spend years chasing a romantic dream that defies reality.
  6. Don’t make excuses for bad behavior.  Coronavirus doesn’t justify bad behavior and should not be used as an excuse to hurt, manipulate, or control other people.
  7. Don’t miss this unique opportunity for self-awareness and self-development.  With open-mindedness and a desire for personal growth, you can emerge from the coronavirus pandemic more evolved, healthier, and stronger than before.

I hope that this list of do’s and don’ts for love during coronavirus is helpful to you and those you care about.  Before, during, and after this period ends, I believe that we can and will find and stay in love.

Photo credit:  Shutterstock

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