Angela D. Coleman, Ìbíyínká Oladojá Oyèwọlá, is a nonprofit executive, social entrepreneur, and scholar-practitioner dedicated to transforming communities through innovation, systems-level thinking, and equity-centered solutions.
Scars are beautiful. You may think that your scars are beautiful, but believe me when I tell you… they are.
As women, we tend to focus more on our physical appearance and we believe that scars are damaging. Quite the opposite, I think scars demonstrate a well-rounded life, full of action, adventures, adversity, and obstacles… and a resilience that can only be built year after year, trial by fire. In this way:
Scars are a sign of healing, the epitome of living a life worth living.
Scars can be physical, emotional, and psychological. I believe we all have them. Some us have many scars while others have only a few. Some people use products to minimize physical scars (like cocoa butter), others choose to have their scars surgically removed, and some leave their scars alone.
Like many women I know, I have a lot of scars. That’s how I know that scars are beautiful.
Some of my scars are physical, for example, those from my childhood from falling from my high chair, those from playing and getting hurt, fighting bullies, and playing sports. As an adult, I have scars from when someone drugged my drink and I passed out in a gravel parking lot, from physical labor when constructing Sisterhood Agenda’s SEA: Sisterhood Empowerment Academy, and from burning my arm taking a cake out of the oven.
The emotional and psychological scars are different. Unseen, they are there. Because you don’t see them all the time, you might ignore them, bury them, deny them. However, they are still there and can affect your day-to-day.
There are times when I remind myself that my scars are beautiful. To see these scars, you have to know me and I have to trust you to share them. Unlike a physical scar that scabs over and heals, the mark left by a trauma scar can hurt, long after the traumatic event has passed. There is no product or surgery that can minimize these types of scars because they are mental and internal: you have to do the work yourself to minimize these scars.
But yes, these issues, these reminders, these scars are beautiful, too.
What does this work look like? It’s empowerment work. It’s healing work.
Take back your power. You are not your scar. You can make the decision to come back to yourself.
You don’t have to let scars define you or your daily experiences. A scar is a gentle reminder of where you have been. They are not about the present or where you are going. That is up to you.
Remember that you are still good and worthy. They are a part of you, beautiful, just like you.
Support systems, therapy, introspection, self-care, prioritization, forgiveness, self-compassion, love… these are the things that can help you heal emotional and psychological scars.
By understanding your scars, you can know thyself and release any bad associations.
Embracing the notion that your scars are beautiful may take some time. Instead of seeing your scar as a curse or allowing it to hold you back, maybe view it as a teaching tool, something that you pick up on your way to your divine destiny. In your healing journey, you can gain perspective to find joy and pleasure in each day and focus on your sense of self-worth.
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