Hey, beauties! Today’s topic is about singleness, specifically singleness when love is in the air.
With Valentine’s Day just passing, and with it being the thick of winter (aka cuddle season) we are becoming even more saturated with images of love and lust. As someone who has been single for quite some time, I’ve picked up some different ideas that I hope helps some of you become content in your singleness.
It’s definitely not easy
I wanted to acknowledge right off the bat that being single at any time of your life can be extremely difficult. Being single is difficult no matter how self-assured or confident you are.
I’ve personally gone through times where I will begin to question myself, my worth, and why someone hasn’t found me yet. Then, after some time, I began to shift the focus from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s wrong with guys, all guys suck.”
Both mindsets can be damaging, and not conducive to finding the relationship that you desire. We as humans regardless of how introverted or extroverted desire to be in relationship with people. This isn’t just romantic relationships, we also desire friendships, parental relationships, working relationships, etc.
To feel deprived of any of those relationships can make you feel like you are alone. Your worth is not attached to your relationship status.
Learn to embrace your singleness
- Don’t focus on finding the right person, become the right person.
Learning about yourself is a tough yet beautiful journey. Self-discovery can improve your quality of life in a variety of ways.
Learn what you really enjoy, what makes you tick. Figure out some hobbies, ambitions, and focus on them. If you have issues with your character, such as anger, forgiveness issues, dive deep and seek to resolve them.
Strive to become the best version of yourself. Something I heard during a sermon in church one Sunday is that you may cross paths with “the one” multiple times. You may meet someone amazing while being single, but if YOU are not amazing, that person definitely isn’t looking to be with you.
- Discover your purpose.
I mentioned this in my last article about seeking validation. I truly believe that when you find what you were put on this earth to do, it can strengthen your perception of yourself drastically.
Figure out what makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Figure out what helps you feel fulfilled. When you find your purpose, you work so hard without really working hard.
With this lifestyle, you’ll be so focused on what you enjoy, that you won’t feel the need to seek a relationship. You may still want a relationship which is perfectly okay, but it won’t take over your mind, or rule your life.
Self-love is not loneliness
Don’t feel guilty for wanting connections!
One of my favorite writers named Vex King on Instagram said this best. Again, wanting a relationship while embracing singleness is completely normal and okay. In Vex’s post, he speaks about when you pour more love into yourself, you desire to pour that love you feel for yourself into others. Through this, you create stronger relationships and can strengthen your current relationships.
I found myself throughout my singleness journey feeling guilty for still wanting a relationship. I used to say to my friends “I really am learning to love myself more and more, and I just want to share that with someone else.” Don’t feel guilty for wanting to spread love. This just means that you’re on the right track.
I hope this article gave you all some comfort and assurance while on your singleness journey. Be patient with yourselves, and understand that the right person will come in due time! When you two join together, self-improvement will feel more enjoyable rather than a burden.