When You Think You’re Too Much

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Angela D. Coleman

Angela, Founder & President of Sisterhood Agenda, is an award-winning global leader, holistic health specialist, and author.

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Hello sisters! Have you ever felt like you were “too much?” Have you ever heard someone say to you, “You’re being too loud!” or “you’re getting too excited”? It just always seems that at some point, people may tell you that you’re “too much.”

I was inspired to write this post by an author by the name of Grace Valentine on Instagram. She addresses this idea perfectly, and I decided to give my own personal take on the matter. For similar articles, check out our article on “Worrying Too Much.”

Feeling like you’re too much

I’ve noticed that when people would tell me that I’m “too happy” or “too much,” I would begin to question whether or not they were right.

I would begin to adjust my personality to fit the mold. Other friends I have who have been told this ended up saying the exact same thing.

One time I was even told to be mindful of my bubbly energy because others wouldn’t take to kindly to it. This ended up taking a bit of a toll on me, as I felt like I constantly needed to adjust my attitude.  At the time, I wished that I was a more chill and laid back person.  Also, I began to kind of envy others who had a more calm disposition.

Heart check: people making you think you’re too much

First, I wanted to ask, have you also suffered through these thoughts and ideas? Also, have you felt like you needed to adjusted your attitude, even though you didn’t feel like there was anything wrong?

In addition, have you felt envious of others because they never heard those kinds of critiques? I think it’s very important to ask yourself these questions.

These are important because you can then assess whether or not you’re letting external opinions change how you feel about yourself.

This would help you realize if you really are “too much” or if the people around you are just not used to having a bright light around them.

Properly assessing your strengths and flaws

Next, we will discuss a very important part of the heart check process. This is a technique for properly assessing your strengths and weaknesses.

We all have strengths and weaknesses, but being a bright, outgoing, or silly person is NOT a weakness. To illustrate, you may have instances where you are actually being loud. However, this can be used to your advantage.

Moreover, having a more boisterous personality can put you in rooms you never thought you’d be in. Maybe you just landed a marketing job, and they need an energetic person to sell a product, or you may have to deliver a speech, and it requires a person with lots of vigor.

While some people see your personality as a weakness, you have the power to use it as a strength.

You can allow yourself to believe that your personality is a weakness, or, you can see it as a gift.

Give your energy to the right people

Lastly, not everyone deserves your energy!

At times, some people may be having a rough day, or they just want to have a calm, relaxed environment one day. In these situations, it’s important to use your discernment. Is this person just having an off day, or are they making you feel bad about yourself?

You will need to ask yourself if this friend is worth keeping in your life. If someone told you that you’re too much, they most likely:

• Don’t know how to handle an energetic person
• May feel envious about the fact that you are a joyful person
• They could be struggling, and are taking it out on you (which is never okay!)

You are not “too much”

In conclusion, you are not too much!

Your personality is the way it is for a reason, and staying true to yourself is essential for living out your purpose to its fullest.

Don’t live your life to please others; live your life to please yourself.

Photo credit:  Asa Dugger, Pexels

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